Perelandra

I was captivated this week reading Perelandra, especially chapters 12 and 13 in which Ransom realizes that Maledil has chosen him to battle and defeat the Un-man and the vastness of the stakes at hand.  I could empathize with the character facing a battle that seems ridiculously beyond him.

"When," he asked, "did I ever win a fight in all my life?"

I took away a few things from this read.  One goes along with a theme we discussed in lifegroup a few weeks ago when we looked at Mark 4:1-20. How should you approach life differently knowing that you have a spiritual adversary intent on obstructing and destroying the work God is doing in your life?  The proceeding chapters present the enemy volleying lie after lie (or, perhaps more accurately, half-truths) to the Lady, attempting to wear down her confidence in what she knew was right and good.  Do I take time to be alert and aware of how that might be happening to me?

The second thing it left me with, as alluded to at the beginning, was the desire to be part of a meaningful fight.  I feel so insulated by a life of comfort and convenience that I do not even know what that might look like for me.  Where am I to stand in the gap and protect the innocent?

The Poor You Will Always Have With You

I always feel frustrated when this verse gets abused as a condescension towards work to alleviate poverty and suffering. The point, I think, is mainly in the words that come next, "But you will not always have Me." Jesus' argument was not to say to stop working to alleviate poverty but to recognize the unique circumstances of what was happening at that moment.

Along with my new church's current sermon series which often deals with such matters, I have been binging this year on reading books calling Christians to wake up from the stupor of our culture and become aware of our call to serve those in desperate need. So far this has included "Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger", "Charity in Truth" and "Radical". Pope Benedict's work has been my favorite, but all have something valuable to share. I would also recommend some of my past reads including "The End of Poverty" and "Living High and Letting Die" which are secular reads from an economist and a philosopher, respectively.

I am finding several challenges in attempting to live out the calling these authors inspire me to do. One of these is that if I am not careful, I can drive myself crazy with guilt. As David Platt, the author of Radical points out, nearly everything we purchase as Americans is relatively speaking a luxury when considered on a global scale. For instance, I could have eaten much more simply yesterday (and presumably shared the savings with those in need), but instead for the luxury of convenience I ate out for both lunch and dinner, all the while knowing the problems of hunger that largely come from our horribly discriminating global distribution network of food. Is what I ate wrong?

Another hazard is that being passionate about this kind of thing can lead a person to become very judgmental of others. Displays of overt luxury from others start to become odious and one can easily begin to assume that these individuals are greedy and selfish when that might not be the case at all. Jesus' stern rebuke to Peter comes to mind here; "What is that to you? You must follow me."

Perhaps the biggest struggle is knowing at what point "balance" becomes "lukewarm." Material possessions are not inherently evil and we are free to enjoy them as we give thanks to God for them. But they also should also not become cumbersome obstacles towards sharing generously and loving others. Where that line is for each person and in each circumstance is ultimately between them and God, as we seek to obey the Word and be led by the Spirit. Father, help me to choose wisely and lovingly.

Thought for the Day

. . . conjectures as to why God does what He does are probably of no more value than my dog's ideas of what I am up to when I sit and read. But though we can only guess the reasons, we can at least observe the consistency of His ways. - C.S. Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Reflections

I just picked Reflections on the Psalms by C.S. Lewis off the shelf. I am not the biggest fan of the Psalms so I was reticent to delve into it, but I am finding Lewis to once again be a very helpful guide. I was struck this morning by his insights. Regarding "The Cursings", Lewis pens,

It seems that there is a general rule in the moral universe which may be formulated "The higher, the more in danger . . . It is great men, potential saints, not little men, who become merciless fanatics. Those who are readiest to die for a cause may easily become those who are readiest to kill for it . .. The higher the stakes, the greater the temptation to lose your temper over the game.

If I am never tempted, and cannot imagine myself being tempted, to gamble, that does not mean that I am better than those who are. The timidity and pessimism which exempt me from that temptation themselves tempt me to draw back from those risks and adventures which every man ought to take.

For the Supernatural, entering a human soul, opens to it new possibilities both of good and evil. From that point the road branches: one way to sanctity, love, humility and the other to spiritual pride, self-righteousness, persecuting zeal. And no way back to the humdrum virtues and vices of the unawakened soul. If the Divine call does not make us better, it will make us very much worse. Of all bad men religious bad men are the worst. Of all created beings the wickedest is one who originally stood in the immediate presence of God. There seems no way out of this. It gives a new application to Our Lord's words about "counting the cost."

Pastoral Staff Blog

Wow, I didn't realize our pastoral staff at BVBC had a blog, did you? Check it out.

I Am My Beloved's

During my retreat, I was also reminded of the beautiful song "As I Am" by the Violet Burning.

Mary, she knows
In a world that's dark
Torn apart at the seams
She lifts up her eyes
Up to the skies
And sings

"I am my beloved's
And he loves me as I am"

Sometimes it's hard
Though patiently
You wait for the time to see

Whose are you?
(Tell me)
Whose are you?

I am my beloved's
And he loves me as I am

Light of the world
Please, come shine on me

Sometimes I cry
In a world that's dark
Torn apart at the seams
Sometimes I cry
For I am weak

Light of the world
Please, come shine on me

Reflecting on this some more, I was able to determine the following. Because I am my Beloved's:

• I will not fear mistakes at work or the rebuke and correction of my superiors, for his affection for me is secure.
• I will not be anxious at the deterioration of my wealth from the fluctuations of the economy, for he will grace me with contentment in poverty. Nor will I become greedy at the expansion of the same, for all is from him and belongs to him.
• I will not be grieved in loneliness, for his presence is with me as brother, friend, savior and king.
• While making all good efforts to maintain health, strength and vitality, I will not fear sickness, aging and death, for this veil and earthly tent must fall and I will share in his likeness in glory and resurrection.
• I will be charitable to my neighbor, whom he also loves, while at appropriate times and ways enjoying, rejoicing and giving thanks in his manifold blessings.
• I will continue to pursue the knowledge of and intimacy with Christ, the lover of my soul.
• I will continue to seek to be filled with and controlled by the Spirit, my help and comforter.
• I will continue to fear, honor, glorify and obey the Father, the giver of every good and perfect gift.
• I will not waste my time in idle pursuits, for I am responding to a higher calling worthy of my full attention and efforts.

Love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind and with all your strength, and love your neighbor as yourself.

The Abundant Life

My recent 7 Day Silent Guided Retreat at the Jesuit Center was a time of deep spiritual restoration for me. I went in feeling disillusioned, cynical, skeptical and generally fatigued and apathetic. I left feeling focused, confident and refreshed. One of my nagging questions going into the retreat was "What can I expect from God without risk of disappointment?" In a contemplation of John 10:10, it became more clear that what is promised is "life abundantly" not necessarily "abundance in life." We are not promised a prosperous, middle-class suburban American lifestyle with a spouse, 2.3 children, a dog, and a white picket fence. Rather we are offered peace in the midst of hardship, contentment in the midst of scarcity and poverty, acceptance in the midst of rejection, friendship in the midst of loneliness, righteousness in the midst of an evil world and life in the midst of death.

The Duration of Perfection

A most random and startling observation came across my mind this evening. Scripture does not indicate how long Adam and Eve were together before the fall. It could have been one year, one hundred years, one billion years. We simply don't know. Presumably, since there was no death there also was not aging. Although the earth rotated and revolved, it as though the reality of time had not yet become part of the human experience. Did monotony not fatigue them and dull their senses the way it does ours? Perhaps that is why there have not been more fictional stories written on life before the fall. Still, one could find room to speculate. Was Eve simply looking for some drama when she picked up the fruit? I mean, what do you talk about when the weather is always perfect, there are no neighbors or children and work is not a chore? Did they travel at all or stay within close confines of the garden? What do you do when all your days are spent in blissful perfection?

When Is It Okay To Change Charities?

So I've had this sort of nagging dilemma in the back of my mind for awhile. What do you do when the charities you have been giving to for years are no longer at the core of the causes you are most passionate about? Nothing has materially changed in these ministries that makes them less worthy of support. Rather, it is being exposed to new needs and opportunities and changing interests that is driving the potential change. And, for the moment let's assume the constraint that additional amounts of new giving are not feasible, and let's also assume that all of the charities currently being given to are in need of more not less support. Do you make the change at all? If so, do you completely switch or hedge your bets and go half and half?

And, for the sake of discussion, let's add that "just pray about it" is not an acceptable answer to this post.

Paradigm Shift

I started reading The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius today and came across this rather piercing statement:

Man is created to praise, reverence, and serve God our Lord, and by this means to save his soul.

The other things on the face of the earth are created for man to help in attaining the end for which he is created.

Hence, man is to make use of them in as far as they help him in the attainment of his end, and he must rid himself of them in as far as they prove a hindrance to him.

Therefore, we must make ourselves indifferent to all created things, as far as we are allowed free choice and are not under any prohibition. Consequently, as far as we are concerned, we should not prefer health to sickness, riches to poverty, honor to dishonor, a long life to a short life. The same holds for all other things.

Our one desire and choice should be what is more conducive to the end for which we are created.

I'm okay with the first three paragraphs. The fourth one is much more difficult to swallow, but after some reflection I see his point. I must admit I have not been evaluating the things in my life in this strict of a manner.

Religion or Relationship

Recently I have been impacted by the dearth of my "relationship" with God. I mean, I'm going through the motions and all, but it has felt more like participating in arms-length transactions with an institution than engaging in an ongoing, interactive relationship. And so, upon receiving some needed exhortation, I am examining this more carefully. I am utilizing this forum to discuss it as I hope that others out there might help me in this process with their thoughts, reflections and probing questions.

I am starting things by turning to a source that has so often helped me in the past, Dallas Willard. In this case, I am re-reading "Hearing God." I was particularly struck by one statement in the first chapter,

"In the last analysis nothing is more central to the practical life of the Christian than confidence in God's individual dealings with each person."

Dang. That hit the nail on the head; that is right where the struggle is for me.

What does the relational aspect of faith look like in experience? When is it safe to say "God spoke to me" and when is it just conscience, circumstance and our own desires and perceptions? I have always been suspicious and wary of people who try to add to the credibility and authority of their arguments by claiming divine authorship of their ideas. Perhaps I am jaded by experiences in which people who have said "they have been praying about it and think this is God's will" typically followed that statement by either breaking up with me or asking for money.

But I have swung to far in the other direction. I found myself being described in unflattering terms by Dallas:

Our need for understanding is clearly very great. We are all too familiar with the painful confusion of individuals who make big efforts to determine God's will for them - people who are frequently very sincere and devout. We see them make dreadful errors following a whim or chance event that because of their desperation, they force to serve as a sign from God. We see them sink into despair, skepticism, even cynicism, often accompanied by a continuation of religious routine now utterly mechanical and dead. They 'know' on the basis of what has happened to them, that for all practical purposes they are simply on their own.

But I was comforted and encouraged by his First Steps Toward a Solution.

I believe we, as disciples of Jesus Christ, cannot abandon faith in our ability to hear from God. To abandon this is to abandon the reality of a personal relationship with God, and that we must not do. Our hearts and minds, as well as the realities of the Christian tradition stand against it. The paradox about hearing God's voice must, then, be resolved and removed by providing believers with a clear understanding and a confident, practical orientation toward God's way of guiding us and communicating with us.

Is It True?

As I haven't been able to sleep again tonight, I continued reading The Pilgrim's Regress. I came across this statement:

Do you know how it is with love? First comes delight: then pain: then fruit. And then there is joy of the fruit, but that is different again from the first delight. And mortal lovers must not try to remain at the first step: for lasting passion is the dream of a harlot and from it we wake in despair. You must not try to keep the raptures: they have done their work. Manna kept, is worms.

Think he's right?

Hope From The Pope

For Christmas I also received a copy of Pope Benedict's second encyclical, Saved in Hope. I have found it to be very nourishing and refreshing. I was particularly struck by his insights regarding "faith in progress." (Pastor Bo's recent sermons on freedom served as a helpful groundwork here):

The nineteenth century held fast to its faith in progress as the new form of human hope, and it continued to consider reason and freedom as the guiding stars to be followed along the path of hope.

He then develops how technical innovation and industrialization gave rise to gross class inequalities which would in turn lead to the Marxist revolution. Concerning Marx, he makes some observations which have a very contemporary ring given the current national focus on economic concerns.

He forgot that man always remains man. He forgot man, and he forgot man's freedom. He forgot that freedom always remains freedom also for evil. He thought that once the economy had been put right, everything would automatically be put right. His real error is materialism; man, in fact, is not merely the product of economic conditions, and it is not possible to redeem him purely from the outside by creating a favorable economic environment.

While recognizing the ways in which progress may benefit humanity, Pope Benedict closes the section with an appropriate caution:

Without doubt, [progress] offers new possibilities for good, but it also opens up appalling possibilities for evil - possibilities which did not formerly exist. We have all witnessed the way in which progress, in the wrong hands, can become and has indeed become a terrifying progress in evil. If technical progress is not matched by corresponding progress in man's ethical formation, in man's inner growth, then it is not progress at all, but a threat for man and for the world.

Spin Cycle

I have talked about Kiva a few times on my blog already. Recently, they made a program change so that contributors receive back their loan proceeds incrementally instead of as a lump sum at the end. This allows funds to be reinvested more frequently.

I just received enough back from my "portfolio" to be able to make another loan. This time I went with Thomas in Ghana who needed some parts for repairs and maintenance for his taxi, as it is his sole income source to support 6 dependents. Act quickly, and you can join me by clicking the link below. If you no longer see Thomas, then his loan has been filled and a different entrepreneur is available for your consideration:



Merry Christmas Thomas

Through This Dark Night

An e-mail from a friend prompted me to take out an old journal this evening that covered one of my "dark nights." I remembered around the time I was writing that I put together a CD that told the story of the year, and that two songs by the same artist formed something of a book-end for my experience: Silence and The Valley Song by Jars of Clay (Regretably there are no official videos, but these were the songs.)



"scream
deeper, i wanta scream
i want you to hear me
i want you to find me
i, i want to believe
but all i pray is wrong
and all i claim is gone

well, i, i got a question
i got a question
where are you?"



"When death like a Gypsy
Comes to steal what I love
I will still look to the heavens
I will still seek your face

But I fear you aren't listening
Because there are no words
Just the stillness and the hunger
For a faith that assures"

The agonizing thing about my "dark night" experience of faith, is that the thing that should have brought me the most comfort seemed to only accentuate the pain. Not only was there deadness or dryness when I would try to read, pray or worship but it seemed to only further wring my heart. Fortunately, over enough time, experience and healing, the darkness lifted but it was not a pleasant journey. In hindsight I think John of the Cross was right:

"No soul will ever grow deep in the spiritual life unless God works passively in that soul by means of the dark night."

Enough Already

Recently I received an e-mail forward written from the prospective of a political and religious conservative in 2012 after four years of an Obama presidency. I found the e-mail to be very troubling, but probably not in the way the author intended. (Apparently this e-mail has been circulated a lot as it received coverage in an AP article.)

What troubles me is when people mingle hatred and fear with religion and politics. That is at least an unhelpful and more likely a very harmful cocktail. I also wonder if the person who penned this fictional, futuristic letter quite realizes that a movement towards the left or at least towards the democratic party is in large part a response to the repeated failures of the current administration?

This letter raises a spectre of lost freedoms that Christians would be enduring. I doubt this. I am more apprehensive of losing my freedoms due to what could become a fearful and tyrannical department of homeland security (which of course was created under the current administration) than I am in losing them under an administration led by a former professor of constitutional law.

But it was not really the particular arguments of this letter that were so upsetting. It was the tone of fear and fatalism. I would also offer an idea to the conversation that God's redemptive movement in the world is not primarily channeled through a particular nation-state (America), political ideology (conservative) or party (Republican) but through the Church.

I simply do not believe the argument that they sky will fall and world will end if a particular politician or party is elected. Somehow we have survived eight years of the Bush administration. I'm pretty sure we would get through at least four years of an Obama administration. The more outlandish attacks I see on Obama coming from the religious right, the more inclined I am to actually vote for him.

But while we are talking about a Christian perspective on politics, I would like to share some more words of wisdom from Dallas Willard.

The revolution of Jesus is in the first place and continuously a revolution of the human heart and spirit. It did not and does not proceed by means of the formation of social institutions and laws, the outer forms of our existence, intending that these would then impose a good order of life upon people who come under their power. Rather, his is a revolution of character, which proceeds by changing people from the inside through ongoing personal relationship to God in Christ and to one another. It is one that changes their ideas, beliefs, feelings, and habits of choice, as well as their bodily tendencies and social relations. It penetrates to the deepest layers of their soul. External, social arrangements may be useful to this end, but they are not the end, nor are they a fundamental part of the means. - Dallas Willard, Renovation of the Heart

Um, Why?

So, I saw on Yahoo that Zondervan says their next edition of the Bible will be handwritten by more than 31,000 Americans.

I don't get it. I can barely read my own handwriting sometimes. Why would I want to try to read someone else's?

They have these things out now, they're called printing presses. They're pretty cool.

As Shrewd As Doves and Innocent As Serpents

I read what I considered to be a disturbing article on USA Today that some Christians keep tithing even as they face foreclosure. And so, I would like to offer some counsel to the flock. Those who have ARM's to hear, let them hear.

1. First, there is no explicit New Testament command to tithe. Impossible, right? Look it up. If you can find one I have overlooked, I am open to correction. Tithing is a good idea and a commendable practice, but not a command. Jesus didn't say don't do it. He did say it's not necessarily the most important aspect of our giving (Matthew 23:23).

1. Second, reneging on your debts is wrong. "The wicked borrow and do not repay, but the righteous give generously." - Psalm 37:21. Unless you really want to try to twist this verse, failing to repay your loans in order that you may give generously does not make any sense.

1. Third, failing to care and provide for your family is wrong. "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." -1 Timothy 5:7. Also see Mark 7:11.

1. Fourth, buying something you couldn't afford to start with is wrong. (Mark 4:19, 1 John 2:15-17). Perhaps there were unforeseen circumstances such as a loss of a job or loss of health which might be excused, but tithing does not make it okay to live beyond your means. Also see earlier posts on prosperity theology.

Compassion Corps

I would encourage everyone to take a look at the Compassion Corps new website. Get involved. Make an impact.

Love And Desire

So I was getting my daily dose of Dallas as I was getting my oil changed yesterday, and I came across this refreshing and challenging insight:

And first, what exactly is love? It is will to good or "bene-volence." We love something or someone when we promote its good for its own sake. Love's contrary is malice, and it simple absence is indifference. Its normal accompaniment is delight, but a twisted soul may delight in evil and take no pleasure in good.

Love is not the same thing as desire, for I may desire something without even wishing it well, much less willing its good. I might desire a chocolate ice cream cone, for example. But I do not wish it well; I wish to eat it. This is the difference between lust (mere desire) and love, as between a man and a woman. Desire and love are, of course, compatible when desire is ruled by love; but most people today would, unfortunately, not even know the difference between them. Hence, in our world, love constantly falls prey to lust. That is a major part of the deep sickness of contemporary life.

Our human world as we find it is not like God, though it was intended to be. Love is not natural in our world, those desire or lust certainly is. 'The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life,' the apostle said, is 'all that is in the world.' (1 John 2:16, PAR)

Pride is defined by desire, not love. It is, above all, the presumption that my desire should be fulfilled and that it is an injustice, a crying shame, and an injury if they are not.

Lust and pride all around us inevitably result in a world of fear. For they bring us into a world of little dictators; and the most likely thing is that each person will be used and abused by others, possibly destroyed, and at least not helped and cared for. Our families, which should be a refuge from such a world, often turn out to be places where victimization is at its worst. 'The dark places of the land are full of the habitations of violence' (Psalm 74:20). The tender young are initiated into an adult world hardened in evil. A baby is not even safe from its mother while in her womb. 'And he who turns aside from evil makes himself a prey' (Isaiah 59:15).

Injury brings pain and loss, then fear and anger, which mingle with resentment and contempt and settle into postures of coldness and malice, with brutal feelings that drain the body of health and strength and shatter social well-being. - Dallas Willard, Renovation of the Heart.