When Insults Had Class

I received the following from my friend Jake. I have not verified the accuracy of any of these, but they sound about right. By the way, I love Churchhill.

• "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
• "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas
• "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln
• "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend ... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
• "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in reply
• "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
• "A modest little person, with much to be modest about..." - Winston Churchill about Clement Atlee
• "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
• "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
• "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
• "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson
• "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
• "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
• "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." Thomas Brackett Reed
• "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
• "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
• "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
• "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde
• "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde