While my parents were visiting, my mom was perusing my bookshelves and commented on the large number of relationship and communication books in my possession. "Yeah, I've had to go back to the books a few times" was my sincere statement to which she empathetically replied along the lines of "It shouldn't have to be that difficult."
I have been mulling that over since then and have sort of settled on another great paradox of life. On the one hand, when you love someone there are times when you will have to fight for the relationship like you would fight for your own life, and there is always ample room for self improvement which will only aid the relationship with someone else. And on the other hand (as I recall my father once quoting), "If it don't come easy, you better let it go."
3 comments:
It always seems amazing to me that the things most longed for in life seem the hardest to achieve. I've been noticing lately that relationships are complicated only if the people in them make them complicated.
I have two very close friends who are perfect illustrations of this. Person A imposes rules and regulations and ever changing boundaries... this is the more complicated relationship. However, person B just goes with the flow, if there's a problem we talk about it, explain each side, and it's over in a mater of moments. It's the most easy and natural thing to deal with it and move on.
I had a point with this, but I think it has flown out the window... sorry.
Hugs & Love
Well said Steve and Steve's dad.
I know how you feel, bro...let this other painfully single brother in Christ talk you ear off about his own theories. Love is a gift given by God. Always. If it is something that you try and create and cultivate, it will die. If you allow God to give it to you, and if through Christ you cultivate it, then it will become a beautiful thing.
I want to say that if God gives you a relationship, you will know it, If you close your eyes to the world and open them in FAITH. That means having no expectations. I also want to say that sometimes, you DO have to fight to maintain that love when you get it...I think as long as that fight lies within yourself and not with the other person's ridiculous behavior, then it is fine. Pride is a powerful thing which requires a powerful effort and prayer to overcome in oneself. If you have to constantly correct the significant other on fundamental matters, then I think that is a kind of "fighting" or "forcing" that is unnatural.
Just my random, idealized musings.
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