Wednesday, October 03, 2007

This Is A Story About A Cow

One of tomorrow night's stories for class has to be about a personal experience that is very animated and physically expressive. I think I am going to talk about a cow.

It was crisp, chilly autumn day so I donned my full orange hunting outfit and set out into the woods. It was a beautiful 250 acre farm, and I was enjoying my walk in nature. As I was walking towards my favorite spot I noticed a cow up on the hillside. I'm sure you've all seen a cow up-close before, just hanging out chewing the cud and being all docile. Don't let it fool you. They're just trying to draw you in with a false sense of security.

It seemed kind of odd that it was so far from the barn, but I just ignored it and kept walking. After awhile I looked back and noticed that it was following me. I kept going and still it was trailing behind me. Then all of a sudden, BOOM!, in the distance a shot was fired. At that very instant, without realizing it, my boot had gotten stuck in the mud, and I suddenly fell and hit the ground. I look down, thankfully realizing I fell because of my boot and not because I was shot, pulled myself out of the mud and kept walking. And still behind me is the cow, though perhaps now slightly agitated by the sound of the gun. I decide it's time to pick up the pace, but I look back and the cow is keeping in step. I go a little faster and look again and barreling towards me like I'm a human matador's cape is 1,000 pounds of Grade A beef. At the sight of this I take off in a full sprint and narrowly make my escape. I chance a look back over my shoulder and the cow is just standing there, looking at me with a smug look on its face. I walk back home with my tail between my legs, thankful I had survived the Running of the Bull.

4 comments:

David said...

That actually happened? Where does the gunshot figure into things? Did you wrestle any bears with your bare hands? Otherwise, it's not a good story.

Steve Lamp said...

It is a true story. But no, I didn't wrestly any bears with my bare hands.

Snoyarc said...

Bears? Why would you wrestle bears when you're running from a cow?

Hugs & Love

David said...

Because any good story about being even vaguely in the woods or on nature trails isn't complete without some part where the person in the story wrestles a bear with his bare hands. Otherwise, it's just not a good story.

That should soooo be a Strong Bad email.

"Dear Strong Bad,

I think no outdoors story is complete or even worth listening to if it doesn't have some story about wrestling a bear with your bare hands in it. What do you think?

David Hynes,

Newark, DE"